Can't Go Home

There she was in his chambers again...The lily pale lady of the court. The one that claimed she was far too pure for such escapades. Surely the first foray into his sheets, she wasn't the first lady of the court to end up there...Only the first in a long, long while.

How the sheets have long since been tainted by humans, or vampires that used to be human. So very rarely he got the pleasure of someone Makain.  Above all, she was a connection to that place. No, to once was.  No, that wasn't even plausible, and he knew that deep down.  She was far too young to even be part of the old court that he had been a part of....That he pined for in the deep of night, in the early of morning.

Really, he knew she heard tales, having lived in the now torn apart Makai. Nowhere near the splendour that he held to. He came from its golden era, and as such, he couldn't return it. He couldn't fathom going back to a place that was just a shadow of its former glory.

Why, he had to revisit his reflection and know that he was a ghost of himself. Sure, he COULD use his shape-shifting powers every day-go back to what he was...But, it would still be just that, a guise held up by magic. He knew every inch of his body, every scar burned in. A thousand eyes have seen that damage, his own that many times.

~
Each escapade they shared was something almost painfully bittersweet. Each time his cold fingers graced her lily pale flesh, he was reminded of the past. Reminded that he couldn't, he couldn't go back.

~

Her breath was sharp, yet steady in his ear, her fingers cold and clutching. He felt the light sting of her nails catching flesh, scraping against prominent bone.  He could smell the fresh scent of her sweat, the coppery tang of his own.

He didn't meet her eyes, knowing their bitter coldness all to well. There was no need. He buried  his face into her neck, his breath ragged as he breathed in her scent. It overpowered him for a moment,  fingers clutching at the sheets beside her.

When he broke away, he then opened his eyes, letting his body slip more into his true form. Her eyes met his, her slight form shifting. He could see the surprise  flitter across her face. If only so temporarily.

"Sometimes I forget.." She murmured, her hands slipping slowly down his back, then finally fell to her sides on the bed.

A simple proclamation, but oh how it hung in the air, tainting it. How bitter it tasted. Forget? He could never forget.  It's easy for her to forget, perhaps, who he was because he went around in a guise. He could never forget that she was part of the court, the same court that once held him high, now...would shun him.

Yes, he could never go back, she, and the other remnants was all he had left.