Chocolate

Oh, Valentine's day, Paranoia thought with an impending sense of doom. It was approaching fast, and he hadn't gotten anything for Schizo yet. (And him) lodged suddenly itself in the back of his mind, trying to creep forward.

It was a constant struggle of thoughts between those two. His girlfriend and crush. Schizo, on the whole, would be much easier to please. A bottle of booze, chocolates and a night filled with horror movies and she was good to go.

But the other one...

Wait, why did he think he had to get him something? It was so ridiculous he almost had to laugh. He SHOULD only be concerned with getting schizo stuff, as she's the one who has been there all this time...

~

So there he stood on Valentine’s Day, surrounded by garish pink and cutesy animals with not-so-catchy tunes, by candy in all its various incarnations. All the while, he felt stares stabbing into his back, into his face, into his very being. Always. It was the lankiness, the awkwardness, his eyes for sure.

Yes, he was so ugly, how could he have a girlfriend? He was sure that was they were all thinking. He thought it too, if he was going to be completely honest with himself.

~

Schizo had a sense of humor, so he settled on a cheeky hokey box obviously meant for a child. At the liquor store next door, he picked up a bottle of jagermeister. They already had tons of zombie flicks to choose from, so he was good to go on that front.

He was all too sure she'd goad him into drinking, and they'd end up in a messy drunk session. That not he minded, Schizo's ability to go wild just increased with booze.


When he was checking out, he saw someone he hadn't expected to see....

Him.

He was incognito, big hat, shades. All black. If it weren't for his height, he would have almost passed for a woman.Well...except women that tall usually didn't possess such delicate features.

~

Jubei had an insane amount of booze with him. Was he going to throw a party? He didn't mean to gawk, but daaamn.

"I knew I'd find you here." Came a whisper in his ear. Immediately, Paranoia found himself turning rigid, money falling out of his hand. Clumsy, he was so damn clumsy. "Schizo loves her Jaeger...” He stammered out.

"S-sorry." he uttered to the cashier, bending down to pick up his fallen cash.

“No need. I'll cover it." Jubei murmured. "Add it to my ticket." He started setting his many bottles on the counter.

~

He followed Jubei outside because he honestly didn't know what else to do. Typical, jubei shows up and he just goes to pieces. He wondered, off hand, how many people fell victim to that.

Now he wondered if he should have picked up a heart or something for Jubei. He's probably used to more decadent chocolate, not the kind you can just buy at a drug store.

That is, is...if he even ate any. That kind of figure was strictly acquired...

"Did you walk here, Paranoia?" Jubei asked in a smooth tone. He could only nod numbly, clutching the paper bag to his chest in the crook of his arm. The other bag twisted around his wrist; swaying and hitting his thigh with each slight movement.

"I'll bring you to your place." he said with such sureness.
~~

It wasn't that long of a ride, but Jubei filled it with conversation, or rather questions. “I’ll take it zhat you have plans for her?" Ah, he didn't even say her name...But he didn’t' sound particularly bitter or jealous, just amused.

"Nothing special." He managed. "Schizo's easy to please." Jubei looked at him then, emotional mask in face, a smirk turning up his lips.

"So I've heard. Excellent for you then." He stopped the car, a flashy antique Rolls Royce Phantom 1957. It stuck out like a sore thumb. Jubei had the flare for the dramatic.

He leaned close to Paranoia, his lips grazing his briefly." Go tend to your lady love; I'll see you next Saturday. My place, bring vhatever you like."

Paranoia tore himself away. Just as he was climbing out, he felt Jubei's hand on his arm. “By zee by, Paranoia, I don't even like chocolate...”